Whistleblower Found Dead Before Testimony

In the latest episode of “As the Boeing Turns,” we have whistleblower John Barnett, a retired quality engineer with 30 years under his belt at Boeing, who was found dead in a South Carolina Holiday Inn parking lot last week. The cause? Allegedly suicide, but his family, friends, and lawyers are like, “Yeah, right!”

Barnett, 62, had been spilling the beans about Boeing’s alleged safety issues and was set to continue his closed-door testimony when he was found. His driver’s license was still in his hotel room, which seems like a strange thing to leave behind if you’re planning to off yourself.

A Boeing employee, who spoke anonymously to the New York Post (because, you know, Big Brother is always watching), said that workers believe his death occurred under suspicious circumstances. They even went as far as to say that Barnett had made some “pretty powerful enemies.”

The employee also mentioned that nobody at Boeing really talks about it because they’re on camera all the time. I guess it’s hard to crack jokes about your coworker’s mysterious death when Big Brother is listening.

Barnett’s lawyers, Robert Turkewitz and Brian Knowles, along with his brother Rodney, are all pointing fingers at foul play. They claim that Barnett was in “very good spirits” and showed no signs of wanting to end his life.

In true corporate fashion, Boeing released a statement saying they’re “saddened” by Barnett’s passing and are thinking of his family and friends. Meanwhile, his lawyers are like, “We’re still going after you, Boeing!”

So, there you have it, folks. A mysterious death, a whistleblower, and a corporation that may or may not be hiding something. Sounds like a plot straight out of a Hollywood blockbuster, but sadly, it’s just another day in the life of Boeing.